Gaining ground

I actually made it through an entire evening-long social encounter with normals without feeling like an idiot a single time. Sure, I'm sure that I made people as uncomfortable as I always seem to do - but I didn't feel like an idiot.

It's marvellous what difference a conscious choice of attitude can make.

I've been feeling quite positive today. It's a nice change.

A perfect moment

Yesterday afternoon I stood on the sidewalk next to Flogsta radhus and looked out across the valley. There was a few people out, a couple of runners like myself, an older couple walking their dogs and some students biking in towards town. Barely a cloud on the sky, just the sinking sun, bathing everything in it’s golden light. A flight of swans passed overhead, their wings catching the twilight, looking like they were burning. Made me think of the wings of vengeful angels. A warmish breeze blew. My eyes almost watered at the sight and feeling of it all, such a tremendous beauty.

It was – wonderful, it’s the only word I can use to describe it.

A perfect moment. And what’s best of it all. I was alone. Ergo no one else around to take the shine off it, nobody to cheapen it.

Just a moment of stillness and peace, of faith and contentment - a rare gem in these modern times.

Bad habits

Bad writing habits that is. When I started this blog, I had the simple goal of writing three times a week. That didn’t hold up that well, did it? To my defence I could say that last week was hectic and a blooh blooh blooh – nobody wants to hear an excuse, what we want to see is results, nicht wahr? Oh well, I’ll try to be a bit more disciplined and focused for the rest of this week.

Since it is mostly the focus that has let me down this week, I’ve been painting miniatures for Lovefiction, a job that should have been finished a long time ago, but I must confess, I’ve had other priorities. Now the ball is finally rolling again and the minis are coming along… pretty nicely. I had forgotten how difficult it is to paint low-detail miniatures. High-detail minis usually paint themselves to an extent since you can usually use washes (thinned paints) to make the details stand out, but with low detail miniatures one does not have that luxury since it is common that one has to actually paint details that aren’t there. Not that I’ve been that hoity-toity with these, at least not yet. I haven’t really decided how much detail I’m going to paint. On one hand, there’s the “painters pride”-aspect that “demands” that I really do my very best with each and every mini, and on the other hand there’s the “O My Yod, there’s 20-something of them and I’m not even getting paid”-aspect that tells me to just dip them and be done with it. I’ll probably go with more of the first than the latter, but as it is now, it won’t be super-top-notch-work, I need better looking miniatures to feel that the effort is actually worth it. Pride in ones work is one thing, but I’ve got other things to do too.

Currently I’m developing four different ideas, two novels and two short…. Novels I guess. I’m still in the brainstorming stage of all four, but I’m working on it, y’know. I haven’t been that disciplined, have barely written 2 pages, this week, but it’s the first week since my last exam, so I’ve let myself to take it easy and rest for a bit. And paint, of course :D.

No Diamonds

“So maybe I’ll call if I get bored”.



Thanks. A lot. I feel special.



Whatever.



I know – it’s my own fault, expecting too much of people.



Such a…



I can’t help feeling this anger, but really, what’s the point?



Nothing helps.